Does anyone like my hat?
by Sweet Tal
Summary: I end up in Hogwarts... and no one likes my hat. Response to METMA challenge.


A/N - hey this is my second time responding to a METMA challenge, maybe it will be slightly better. Somehow I doubt it, but whatever. Have fun reading it. These are the criteria.   
  
*must be funny, in txt format, and have a plot  
*someone's ears must be cold  
*someone needs to say "Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covah sheloh!" which means "No, I do not love your hat." in Hebrew. :)  
*Molly Weasley needs to be mentioned or in the fic (she's cool.)  
*you must write the entire fic without ever using the name "Harry" [laughs maniacally]  
*someone needs to chew gum obnoxiously  
*and finally, there must be a striped cat.  
  
This is going to be hard. Think hard Talia… what should you do???? Okay I got it. Slight introduction, this weekend I was on a class trip to Toronto and me and my friend bought hats. Mine was pink and hers was blue. They are really cool. So here is a beautiful story about them. Please don't mind the private jokes that I put in.   
  
  
  
It was a Sunday morning in a hotel in Toronto. My friends and I were getting ready to leave. We were all so upset, we had been having so much fun, and now the trip was over. It was time to go back to reality.   
  
Little did I know I was not going back to reality.  
  
I put on my new pink hat. We took our suitcases out of the room, went to the elevator and pressed the down button. Five minutes later, the elevator door opened. We walked in and to our surprise we saw six really hot guys. The hot guys from flaw nine (a/n - Talia laughs hysterically). To our surprise, the elevator started going up instead of down. It stopped at flaw nine. The six hot guys, and my two friends stepped off. Personally I wanted to join them, but I couldn't. Something was holding me into the elevator.   
  
The elevator started going up and down, up and down, up and down. Finally, it stopped at the lobby, right where I belonged. The door opened. I opened my eyes in shock as I saw where I was…  
  
I was at Hogwarts. I couldn't believe it. I had read many stories where this had happened, but it had never happened to me.   
  
I stepped off the elevator. This was better than hot guys. This was better than a trip to Toronto. This was better than my plans of T&I Farms. And better than buffaloes.   
  
I saw Ron Weasley standing in front of me. He looked slightly different than I had imagined, and much cuter.   
  
"Hey!" I shouted.   
  
"Hey," Ron replied, glancing at me curiously. Then I realized. It was the pink hat.  
  
"Do you like my hat?" I asked.  
  
"No, its quite ugly," Ron replied. "Hermione's hat is much prettier. It brings out the color of her eyes. Your hat makes you look like a troll. You're even uglier than my mother… Molly Weasley."  
  
I slapped him. "How could you say something like that about your mother. She's such a cool character!"  
  
Damn. I slipped.   
  
"Character??? Does this mean that..."  
  
"No!" I shouted. "I just met her once... uh... she has a very interesting character.   
  
"Right." Ron stared at me, and I just gave him a confused look. I decided to move on and try my luck with someone else.   
  
Next I saw Hermione Granger.   
  
"Hi Hermione! How are you?"  
  
"Oh no, not another one."  
  
"Another what?" She couldn't possibly know the truth about me could she?  
  
"You people are so annoying!!!!! Why can't you all just go to hell already???"  
  
"Come on… don't you like my hat?"  
  
" Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covah shelcha!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted.   
  
"Don't scream at me. I'm not what you think I am."  
  
"Oh yeah," she replied, as she stroked her striped cat (Fred and George and played a trick on Crookshanks). "Come on, you're beautiful, all the guys love you, and you're all perfect!!!!!!! Don't try to tell me that you're not Mary Sue!!"  
  
I sighed a sigh of relief. She hadn't figured it out.  
  
"All right, you got me. Please don't hurt me though. You can have Ron, he likes you best anyway."  
  
"Does he really?"  
  
"Yeah… he loves you. Don't you know that?"  
  
"No. I never knew that. Are you serious?"  
  
"Yeah. Everyone knows that. I mean, in all the stories…" Damn. "I mean, I heard about you two from a friend of mine, uh…" I saw the way she was staring at me and I knew I should change the subject. "Are you sure you don't like my hat?"  
  
"If you really want to know, it's terribly ugly. It's the only thing that doesn't match the character. It's strange though… usually everything about Mary Sue is perfect. But, you're different, look at your hat. It just… wait a second… you're not a fanfic writer are you?"  
  
"No way. I'm Mary Sue. I must have made a bad choice with the hat."  
  
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear the day a girl admitted to being Mary Sue. It's a nice change. I guess I'll let you live."   
  
"Thanks. Uh... I'd better go now. I'll see you later." I walked away slowly. I was in the Gryffindor common room. I walked around, asking everyone if they liked my hat. No one seemed to like it. One person even had the gall to tell me that I looked like Blossom (A/N - that person must die… don't laugh Tzippy).   
  
I was about to start crying. None of the characters liked my hat. It was so depressing. There was nothing wrong with my hat, and yet they couldn't even pretend to like it.  
  
"Don't cry Talia, I like your hat." It was Draco Malfoy. He chewed his gum obnoxiously. "And anyway, my ears are cold. It looks warm." With that, he grabbed my hat and put it on his head.  
  
Malfoy, in a pink hat? This you don't see everyday.   
  
Everyone in the room started laughing uncontrollably. Malfoy blushed, took the hat off, put his gum in it, and put my hat back on my head. And it got stuck.  
  
"Malfoy, how could you?" I asked  
  
He laughed evilly. "MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
And that is why I never took my hat off again.  
  
THE END!!!  
  
A/N - I might have missed the criteria of it having a plot, but oh well. I guess last place is good enuf for me (I don't think I deserve that high…). Please review, even if you don't have anything good to say. And everyone join METMA!!!!!!!!   



End file.
